I know what you’re all thinking – how can such an intelligent, diligent, charming gal who was a Marketing Manager for a major international company (and who has an MBA!) have this much trouble finding a new job in Zurich?! Ok, so you probably weren’t thinking that, but you are now, right? I need some friend love!!! Swiss employers keep rejecting me, and I’m not even warranting the “it’s not you, it’s me” spiel! Here are some actual rejection quotes I’ve recently received from the 15 or so job rejections I’ve gotten in the last month, with some additional (minorly bitter) commentary.
- After careful consideration and review of your application we have determined that we will not be pursuing your candidacy at this time. Maybe you should also carefully consider learning how to use commas in English correctly?
- We have to make numerous decisions every single day, some of which are not easy or pleasant. Having to turn you down is one of these. I guess there’s no sugar coating that rejection. Oh, and I’m so sorry that your rejection of me had to be so difficult and unpleasant FOR YOU.
- We received a very large number of applications and regret to inform you that we have decided to give preference to applicants who meet the work and requirement profile of this position even better. Thanks for the pep talk, coach! I really needed to be reminded that, not only am I being rejected, but there areso many other people swarming around who are so much better than I am.
Listen, I get it. Cultural differences yada, yada, yada. Here’s how American companies look at my resume (NOTE: This is a dramatization based on actual events): Wow, this girl must be so driven and motivated since she has been able to move up the ranks so quickly with every job she’s had. She is well-rounded with a holistic educational background in Politics, Philosophy, and Public Leadership, but with an MBA in Marketing to supplement her business background. She looks like she has a lot of potential and we would love to hire her with a huge base salary and lots of bonus.
Here’s how Swiss companies look at my resume: This girl has no specialty in any field. Her undergraduate degree in Political Science means she is no certainly no expert in Marketing, as our citizens started studying their field at age 14. Her MBA is laughable because it’s not from a European institution and is therefore of lesser value. Because she only has two years of experience in Marketing for, it means she doesn’t have enough experience (who cares that she was managing the Marketing for several products for this major international company, the years aren’t there!). And, to make matters worse, not only is she not Swiss but she’s not even a citizen of the EU! G-R-O-S-S. Plus, she’s married and of age to start having chidren (which we know because on our Swiss resumes applicants must submit marital status, date of birth, and a picture). We expect fluency of German, Swiss German, and often French in addition to English and we scoff that someone would be so provinical that they only speak 1 language fluently. We will consider hiring you for an internship and you may get our coffee – when you’ve learning at least German fluently.
So as the saying goes, Those who can’t do, teach. But here in Switzerland, it would take me almost 6 months to get certified to teach ESL classes… and I can only take the classes after I’m fluent in German (ironic that I need to learn German to teach English?). I guess this leaves me with only one option. Since I can’t do and I can’t teach, I blog.