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The Real Housewife of Zurich

~ The Mishaps & Sarcasm of an American Hausfrau

Monthly Archives: February 2012

My Dog Is Cute, Dammit!

28 Tuesday Feb 2012

Posted by Lisa in bella, dog, ugly

≈ 2 Comments

I think it’s obvious and a little bit redundant to say that my dog is adorably amazingly cute. Everybody who knows Bella overlooks the largeness of her head, the old-man wrinkles on her face, the slobber drooling out of her mouth, and the farts that come ripping out of her body and sees the sweet and good-natured beauty that she really is.

For the non-believers of her cuteness, please see Exhibits A, B, and C below.

Exhibit A – Forlorn
Exhibit B – Happy!

Exhibit C – Politely awaiting your command
And yet, for reasons unbeknownst to me, my hubby Florian LOVES to take the ugliest possible pictures of this innocent little babykins. I’m here in New York with my family, dying inside because I’m so far away from her for such a long time (oh, and uh, yeah, I miss Florian a lot too, of course!). But then these are the pictures of her that he sends to me!!! I present to you Exhibits D, E, F, and G, the worst pictures of Bella ever known to man.

Exhibit D – The slutty dog

Exhibit E – The Freddy Kruger face
Exhibit F – The ancient Chinese man face

Exhibit G – The half-paralyzed face
Our poor little baby would have to go to years of therapy to work on her self esteem issues if she knew I was releasing these photos in public!! But I know you all are on my side and totally agree that my dog is cute, dammit! You won’t judge her based on the last set of pictures, will you??

My Dog Is Cute, Dammit!

28 Tuesday Feb 2012

Posted by Lisa in bella, dog, ugly

≈ 1 Comment

I think it’s obvious and a little bit redundant to say that my dog is adorably amazingly cute. Everybody who knows Bella overlooks the largeness of her head, the old-man wrinkles on her face, the slobber drooling out of her mouth, and the farts that come ripping out of her body and sees the sweet and good-natured beauty that she really is.

For the non-believers of her cuteness, please see Exhibits A, B, and C below.

Exhibit A – Forlorn
Exhibit B – Happy!

Exhibit C – Politely awaiting your command
And yet, for reasons unbeknownst to me, my hubby Florian LOVES to take the ugliest possible pictures of this innocent little babykins. I’m here in New York with my family, dying inside because I’m so far away from her for such a long time (oh, and uh, yeah, I miss Florian a lot too, of course!). But then these are the pictures of her that he sends to me!!! I present to you Exhibits D, E, F, and G, the worst pictures of Bella ever known to man.

Exhibit D – The slutty dog

Exhibit E – The Freddy Kruger face
Exhibit F – The ancient Chinese man face

Exhibit G – The half-paralyzed face
Our poor little baby would have to go to years of therapy to work on her self esteem issues if she knew I was releasing these photos in public!! But I know you all are on my side and totally agree that my dog is cute, dammit! You won’t judge her based on the last set of pictures, will you??

Who Thought It Was a Good Idea To Live With My Parents For 2 Months?

15 Wednesday Feb 2012

Posted by Lisa in gift, handmade, home, homemade, no alcohol, NY, parents, teenager

≈ 12 Comments

I know that you guys know how excited I am to go home and see the babies! (Yep, plural. Did you forget my sister Elana is due in April?? If you did, you should re-read this blog post to see an adorable pregnant pic of her). I am also super excited that I get to see the whole family, spend time with friends, and, perhaps most importantly, speak the native language effortlessly (a rare treat these days…). And that`s the good part about going home.

The bad part is… well, I`m basically going to be a teenager again. Though I`m actually an adult (a cougar nonetheless!), my parents have sorta forgotten that important fact. They still set a curfew for me and won`t let me stay out late. And I can`t drink alcohol. And I have to ask to borrow the car. And I have to do cleaning chores around the house. And my friends have to call my parents house to reach me (how totally weird is that in the age of cell phones?!? “Oh, hi Mr. Epstein, is Lisa home?”. Right? So weird!).

Don’t be fooled by how cute and innocent they look…


So, I figure I have to stay busy while I have no car, no alcohol, I have to be home at 10pm on Saturdays. I saw this great Facebook post from a friend Kim (who, coincidentally, moved from San Diego to Paris and so is still a neighbor) and decided to copy her idea. Here it is, folks, the one moment where my narcisstic blog isn`t about me!!


I will make something handmade for the first five people who comment on this post. You can make a request for what you want, but I can`t guarantee I`ll actually make it 🙂 And, duh, please be sure to leave some contact info if I don`t already have it.

Who Thought It Was a Good Idea To Live With My Parents For 2 Months?

15 Wednesday Feb 2012

Posted by Lisa in gift, handmade, home, homemade, no alcohol, NY, parents, teenager

≈ 6 Comments

I know that you guys know how excited I am to go home and see the babies! (Yep, plural. Did you forget my sister Elana is due in April?? If you did, you should re-read this blog post to see an adorable pregnant pic of her). I am also super excited that I get to see the whole family, spend time with friends, and, perhaps most importantly, speak the native language effortlessly (a rare treat these days…). And that`s the good part about going home.

The bad part is… well, I`m basically going to be a teenager again. Though I`m actually an adult (a cougar nonetheless!), my parents have sorta forgotten that important fact. They still set a curfew for me and won`t let me stay out late. And I can`t drink alcohol. And I have to ask to borrow the car. And I have to do cleaning chores around the house. And my friends have to call my parents house to reach me (how totally weird is that in the age of cell phones?!? “Oh, hi Mr. Epstein, is Lisa home?”. Right? So weird!).

Don’t be fooled by how cute and innocent they look…


So, I figure I have to stay busy while I have no car, no alcohol, I have to be home at 10pm on Saturdays. I saw this great Facebook post from a friend Kim (who, coincidentally, moved from San Diego to Paris and so is still a neighbor) and decided to copy her idea. Here it is, folks, the one moment where my narcisstic blog isn`t about me!!


I will make something handmade for the first five people who comment on this post. You can make a request for what you want, but I can`t guarantee I`ll actually make it 🙂 And, duh, please be sure to leave some contact info if I don`t already have it.

I’m An Aunt!! Meet The Beautiful Sofia Elena

12 Sunday Feb 2012

Posted by Lisa in aunt, baby, best friend, newborn, niece

≈ Leave a comment

You’re obviously here to see the pictures, so I’ll start with an adorable one.

World, meet the amazing and fantastic Sofia Elena! She’s the new daughter of my best friend Kelly, which is SUPER weird for me to type because I’ve known Kelly since we were practically babies. A little background on that: Kelly moved into my neighborhood in the 2nd grade and she became friends with my best friend at the time, Heather. My scheming little 6-year-old mind thought I should be friends with Kelly, too, so she wouldn’t be able to steal my friend. Kelly and I have been besties ever since! 🙂
Little Sofia came with 2 big surprises. 1) We didn’t know she was a girl! Kelly and Tony wanted to save it for a surprise, and she was pretty sure she was having a boy, so what a surprise it was!  2)  She did NOT want to stay in her mommy’s belly… she came out an entire month too early!! Sofia, you’re a day old and already rearranging my life! I had booked my ticket back to NY to be there for her birth… you know, in MARCH when she was due! Now I had to change my ticket and I’m flying out in 3 days to see her. Oh, and, you know, the rest of my family and friends. Let’s be honest, it’s all about the baby. I’m sooooooooooooooo excited.

Mommy and Baby
I’m so tiny I don’t even fit into my tiny baby clothes!
Can I get more adorable than this?!
Huge congratulations to Mommy Kelly and Daddy Tony on such an amazing little babykins. 

I’m An Aunt!! Meet The Beautiful Sofia Elena

12 Sunday Feb 2012

Posted by Lisa in aunt, baby, best friend, newborn, niece

≈ Leave a comment

You’re obviously here to see the pictures, so I’ll start with an adorable one.

World, meet the amazing and fantastic Sofia Elena! She’s the new daughter of my best friend Kelly, which is SUPER weird for me to type because I’ve known Kelly since we were practically babies. A little background on that: Kelly moved into my neighborhood in the 2nd grade and she became friends with my best friend at the time, Heather. My scheming little 6-year-old mind thought I should be friends with Kelly, too, so she wouldn’t be able to steal my friend. Kelly and I have been besties ever since! 🙂
Little Sofia came with 2 big surprises. 1) We didn’t know she was a girl! Kelly and Tony wanted to save it for a surprise, and she was pretty sure she was having a boy, so what a surprise it was!  2)  She did NOT want to stay in her mommy’s belly… she came out an entire month too early!! Sofia, you’re a day old and already rearranging my life! I had booked my ticket back to NY to be there for her birth… you know, in MARCH when she was due! Now I had to change my ticket and I’m flying out in 3 days to see her. Oh, and, you know, the rest of my family and friends. Let’s be honest, it’s all about the baby. I’m sooooooooooooooo excited.

Mommy and Baby
I’m so tiny I don’t even fit into my tiny baby clothes!
Can I get more adorable than this?!
Huge congratulations to Mommy Kelly and Daddy Tony on such an amazing little babykins. 

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